<div dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"> "write a letter about the impact of the particular issue that their behavior is raising." I think this could be one good thing for Darin to do.</span><br></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Apr 8, 2015 at 1:55 PM, WIld Cat <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com" target="_blank">wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr"><span class=""><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">"But I do know there are people avoiding the space, </div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">peaceful people never in conflict, </div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">who are put off by your presence WildCat, and fearful of it...</div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">...is that the power you want"</div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div></span><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">Can you describe who these people are and why they are "put off"? I know some people are "put off" that I am utilizing the Safer Spaces Policy and confront behaivors that I find problematic but I think that there are some people "put off" because they don't know me, understand where I am coming from, and or feel vulnerable because they behaive oppressively themselves fear accountability. . For instance Rob said that I was acting "like a cop" implying that I was acting authoritarian. .The way that he put it, triggered and offended me deeply because of my experiences being brutalized and tortured for acting justly. The police do not hold people accountable for issues of oppression, they enforce oppression on the world. Though I understand that I sometimes I can be better about being constructive with my criticism, I feel that my utilization of the Safer Spaces Policy has been legit.<span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">He said that he thought I he was worried that I was against all men. I responded by telling him that I know a lot of good men that the issue is not men but patriarchal/trans-misogynist behaivor that I also have to keep in check myself (being that I was socialized to be a straight male by my father and the Church but through a process of self realization and criticism I have begun unsocializing my self of oppressive behaviors and have begun in process of transitioning and coming out as a queer/transperson.)</span></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></span></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">Rachel, I know you have a lot of hope in changing people but I can see that creating a lot of problems if we spend so much time trying to do that rather than get work done in the OMNI. I have little energy to be in mediation processes with defensive/unaccountable people who have greater issues of oppression like Doc who is a open National "Anarchist" (contradiction) White Supremacist. You ( Rachel) have expressed that you would him like to continue being a part of the space. He has said this like "We shouldn't have any immigrants." and "Nuke the Middle East." "National Socialists (Nazis) were the first Socialists." Honestly your defense of him makes me trust you less because I see your rushed process of "restorative justice" as have a certain amount of complacency with oppressive behavior. People can call me whatever but one thing I know is that I am not complacent with issues of oppression. That means if someone tells me that I am being oppressive I will spend a lot of time listening and self reflect on ways I can be accountable to their concerns. So regardless I will continue to work and be accountable to my community but I am not willing to compromise the safety and liberation of the community so that we can "hand hold" for oppressive people. I don't believe it is the responsibility of the survivors or oppressed in a particular conflict to "teach" the oppressor. That responsibility should fall on those who have greater privileges and the perpetrator to be self aware and change themselves. No oppressive person will change unless they are willing to do commit to a lifetime of self-criticism and awareness.</div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"> </span></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></span></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><b>With Darin I am in conversation with FNB Joe about coming up with a constructive resolution. To be accountable to the process I am willing to meet with a larger circle of people to come up with a community agreement about to help Darin grow out of his oppressive behavior and history. </b></span><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">"Likewise, past what point can we agree that someone
has NOT worked on their shit, and we shouldn’t bother
wasting our time on it anymore? Some accountability processes
drag on for months and years, diverting collective
energy from other more fulfilling and useful ends. One stubborn
sexist can sour an entire scene on making good faith
efforts to hold folks accountable—which goes to show how
important it is to know when to end an attempted process
before it drags everyone down with it. If we’re going to invest
so much time and energy in these processes, we need a
way to assess if it’s worthwhile, and when to admit failure.</div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">Perpetrator accountability is not an easy or short process…
It takes a lifelong commitment to change behaviors
that are so deeply ingrained; it requires consistent effort
and support. When talking about follow-up, we should
be making schedules for weeks, but also talking about
checking in after months and years. It takes that kind of
long-lasting support to make real transformation possible.
Let’s be frank: if we expect people to remain involved in an
accountability process for some scumbag they don’t even
like for years, and we expect this as a norm for an increasing
number of processes for different people, who may or may
not be cooperative—we are not setting a realistic standard.
That’s not to say that the article is wrong; transformation
of patriarchal and abusive behavior patterns is a lifelong
process. But is it really a surprise that we fail to sustain
these difficult, unrewarding processes stretching over such
lengths of time, when few anarchists in our scene follow
through on long-term commitments to even our most fervent
passions? What can we realistically commit to doing?"</div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">" - <a href="https://ia902307.us.archive.org/21/items/AccountingForOurselves/accounting-for-ourselves_screen.pdf" target="_blank">https://ia902307.us.archive.org/21/items/AccountingForOurselves/accounting-for-ourselves_screen.pdf</a><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px">Here are some other great resources:<a href="http://www.phillyspissed.net/sites/default/files/what%20to%20do%20when%20someone%20tells%20you.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.phillyspissed.net/sites/default/files/what%20to%20do%20when%20someone%20tells%20you.pdf</a></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></div><div><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><a href="https://inciteblog.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/why-misogynists-make-great-informants-how-gender-violence-on-the-left-enables-state-violence-in-radical-movements/" target="_blank">https://inciteblog.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/why-misogynists-make-great-informants-how-gender-violence-on-the-left-enables-state-violence-in-radical-movements/</a></span><br></div><div><span style="font-size:12.8000001907349px"><br></span></div><div><br></div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote"><span class="">On Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 3:24 PM, Rachel Wolfsohn <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:rawjnana@gmail.com" target="_blank">rawjnana@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br></span><div><div class="h5"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr">Darin is being held accountable to all of us, <div>I say it like it is to Darin and he's working hard at mediation and counseling.</div><div>That IS the process</div><div>Bans protect people and incentivize mediation.</div><div>Darin is already going through that mediation and should be given the chance to be counseled and improve. Jumping in barely a couple weeks after mediation has begun isnt giving him due time...</div><div><br></div><div>And others who have been hurt by Darin generally still come around and just don't engage with him,</div><div> in fact I hang out with such friends who were not scared away from the space because of him</div><div>e.g. Babs when she's alone or with people who don't have conflict with Darin,</div><div> who see him pass and ignore him, as he does them. Because they do not fear him,</div><div>Often it is other feelings, many others, including negative ones, I see, but not fear of Darin</div><div>Until such time as Darin is ready to engage peacefully again, this is sufficient to me...</div><div><br></div><div>But I do know there are people avoiding the space, </div><div>peaceful people never in conflict, </div><div>who are put off by your presence WildCat, and fearful of it...</div><div>...is that the power you want? </div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><div><div><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 9:10 AM, WIld Cat <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com" target="_blank">wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr">Helen what is your alternative for accountability?</div><div><div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 7:53 AM, Helen Finkelstein <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:hefinkel@gmail.com" target="_blank">hefinkel@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr"><div>I strongly disagree. Banning is too drastic a measure for the problems that Darin has, and he has been making a serious effort to deal with them.</div><div><br></div><div>There is long-standing hostility between Darin and Babs. It would be a mistake for the OMNI to get involved in it. Darin, at least, just wants to keep his distance.</div><span><font color="#888888"><div><br></div><div>Helen</div></font></span><div><div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sun, Apr 5, 2015 at 9:12 AM, WIld Cat <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com" target="_blank">wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div dir="ltr">There has been many attempts to mediate with Darin but still he is unaccountable. Therfore I think he needs to be banned so that he can take these issues in his life a little more seriously. Helen what is the conflict that y'all are mediating?</div><div><div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 6:32 PM, Kevin Laird <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:thegayscience@gmail.com" target="_blank">thegayscience@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div dir="ltr">whoops. Always read to the end of the thread first... -K</div><div><div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 6:32 PM, Kevin Laird <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:thegayscience@gmail.com" target="_blank">thegayscience@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div dir="ltr"><div>I would speak with Darin. I would need to speak with whomever has been working with him in the past first, is there an extant point person/mediator/steward? Plz fwd me contacts or names.</div><div> tracy I understand your frustrations, and yours as well, cat person, but making the future happen requires a lot of patience!</div><span><font color="#888888"><div class="gmail_extra"><br></div><div class="gmail_extra"> -K</div></font></span><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote"><span>On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 5:04 PM, niki <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:niki.shelley@gmail.com" target="_blank">niki.shelley@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br></span><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div><div><div dir="ltr">Adding the mediation mailing list to this thread in the hopes that someone will step forward to steward these conflicts towards whatever ends are in the community's best interest.<div><br></div><div><3</div><div><br></div><div>Niki</div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 3:37 PM, WIld Cat <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com" target="_blank">wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div dir="ltr">These are community issues not personal issues.</div><div><div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 2:53 PM, Tracy Jacobs <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:kinetical@comcast.net" target="_blank">kinetical@comcast.net</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div>Sudoers,<div><br></div><div>Respectfully can I suggest that you find another way to address issues of a personal nature and character assassinations or public shaming other than this public mailing list? Why anyone would want to go to Sudo room after reading this mailing list is beyond my comprehension. And it really is a great place. Can anyone think of another venue for these types of discussions?</div><span><font color="#888888"><div><br></div></font></span><div><span><font color="#888888">Tracy<br></font></span><div><div><div><div>On Apr 4, 2015, at 2:41 PM, WIld Cat <<a href="mailto:wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com" target="_blank">wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com</a>> wrote:</div><br></div></div><blockquote type="cite"><div><div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:13px">Daren returned to the space about 20 mins after trying to re-enter and said to me " Do you want to go a couplwe blocks away from here and handle this like an adult." </span><div style="font-size:13px"><br></div><div style="font-size:13px">Pidgen is claiming that I threatened her and I did tell her that "you need to chill out or some shit is going to happen" but I also clarified by saying "I am not threatening you with any form of violence."</div><div style="font-size:13px"><br></div><div style="font-size:13px">Darin is claiming that Babs sexually assaulted someone but Darin did not give any details of what happened.</div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 2:00 PM, WIld Cat <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com" target="_blank">wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid"><div dir="ltr">Today Pidgen was asked to leave in violation of the safer spaces policy on an admitted account of sexual assault in the past as well as recent behaviors of harassment. Daren was asked to leave in violation of the safer spaces policy by aggressive behavior (aggressive swearing, intentional misgendering, inappropriate sexual comments (Told me in an aggressive way that he liked phone sex, than began to yell at me.) He has had a history of being banned from spaces for similar behaviors of sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior.<div><br><div>I would like to begin a mediation process for Daren and I do not feel safe with him being in the space during such process. </div><div><br></div><div>To my knowledge there is an ongoing mediation between Pidgen and Centi. that Pidgen has allegedly violated due to harassing behavior. Pidgen has been banned from several other radical spaces for entitlement problems - theft - aggressive behaivor - accountability issues.</div><div>I do not feel safe in the presences of Pidgen and would call on the community to permanently ban Pidgen.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></div>
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<br></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><div><br></div></div></div><span><font color="#888888">-- <br><div><div dir="ltr"><font face="comic sans ms, sans-serif"><3 Rachel</font></div></div>
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