Please don't contact me off list about this. Boundaries.

Extremely aggressive: yelling at me repeatedly standing over me or from the crow's nest about turning down the music, even when it was quiet enough that I couldn't hear it over the person doing metal work, who was not asked to cease.

And no, I couldn't have been "real with you" because of your repeated boundary pushing and the fact that you honestly scare me. You've repeatedly gotten in my physical space, and with your history of violence and the fact that you've repeatedly raised your voice at me, it makes confrontation very difficult. Generally, when I am feeling unsafe around someone, I work towards non-interaction.

You do have the right to be "in a bad mood" at the Omni. You do not have the right to use that as an excuse for shitty behavior towards others.

You talk about having to "hold the hand of your oppressor." Am I your oppressor? If you were acting like this to me after I had repeatedly pushed your buttons and exerted power over you, that'd be one thing. But your interactions with pretty much everyone in the space are hostile, if not overtly aggressive. You do realize that your body language is aggressive, right?

However, I feel like I've said enough. You've taken enough of my emotional energy on a day I don't have a lot of it. We can continue on with trying to hash out exactly what happened, but at the end of the day, what matters is that I am one of the many people who has felt threatened by you, to the point of having to talk to other people about it.

You can keep making excuses, but there really is a pattern here.

On Fri, Jun 26, 2015 at 11:15 PM, WIld Cat <wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com> wrote:
Can you be more detailed about what extremely aggressive means because I feel like extremely aggressive is standing over someone or yelling at someone. None of which I did. Also you could have been real with me and not have waited till other people are attacking me for not compromising my dignity in oppressive situations. I am not acting entitled I clean that space on a near daily basis and have brought up my concerns and expressed my opinion on how the collectives should act and every time the collectives voted to ban these people. I am not the "enforcer" the collective decision making bodies are. Do I have a right to not be in a great mood and be at the omni? Is it ok to be upset or agry and not follow the politics of respectability? Is it my responsibility to hold the hand of my oppresser? I feel that the mediation process is working OK but its complicated.  I really appreciate the energy that people have put into community accountability. Right now I am feeling a bit defensive because I feel that people are pushing to ban me but I assure all of you that if you are real with me and talk to me about accountability collectivly  I will respect it. I have not always seen eye to eye with certain individuals but if there is a respectful effort I will return that respect.


On Friday, June 26, 2015, Ryan <yandoryn@gmail.com> wrote:
Let's be clear.

You went into a space where many people were listening to and enjoying loud music. You then snapped at me to turn it down (which I did... three times) and were extremely aggressive in doing so. There were many other places you could have been if you were in pain. Your aggression was to the point that I had to remove myself and decompress with other people.

In fact, you went into a space that is specifically a space where loud noises, including woodworking, metalworking, giant robots working, and loud music, expecting that everyone would accommodate your headache. That's not reasonable. If you want to be somewhere that's more headache friendly, you could have gone into La Commune, the mezzanine, or the treatment room. The blue classroom tends to be quieter as well. Also, the basement.

You didn't have to be there. And if you were in so much pain that you couldn't act reasonably, you shouldn't have been at the Omni at all. You are not entitled to the space. No one is so entitled to the space that they get to be aggressive towards others, to the point that they feel physically unsafe. Considering your history of physical violence against others in the space, you really need to work on that.

This kind of exactly proves my point. Almost all of the button pushing and aggressive behaviors you exhibit, you have an excuse for. Or your story doesn't match up with everyone else's at all. It doesn't matter if you keep "taking accountability" and apologizing. There's a point where that doesn't matter because you're regularly hurting other people and not seeming to do anything to modify those patterns of behavior.

On Fri, Jun 26, 2015 at 9:12 PM, WIld Cat <wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com> wrote:
I am sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable that day I had a head ache and you were blasting techno. Whenever anyone has asked me to turn down some music I have. I communicated my wish with what I thought was respectful but I was in pain. Behaviors that are deniable. I'm confused. I just feel like while I am doing my best to be accountable and I took some very serious steps to do so. I don't feel like people are aknowledging the many good thing for that space. 


On Friday, June 26, 2015, Ryan <yandoryn@gmail.com> wrote:
Please actually read the emails.

She has been asked to leave without attempts at reconciliation at this time.

However, please acknowledge that this isn't about tokenization. You are a button pusher and aggressive. You are constantly inserting yourself where it isn't appropriate, pushing boundaries, and making demands on others without thinking about the consequences for them in these actions. I'm not saying that she isn't rude or transphobic. What others are saying is that you escalate. You push people and push people.

Honestly, I think you should be asked to leave. Not about this. About a pattern of shitty and even threatening behavior against multiple people when you don't agree with them or aren't getting what you want. If you were a member of sudo room, you would likely no longer be a member in good standing.

Fuck, you intentionally pushed my buttons when I didn't immediately turn my music off when you asked me to turn it down. You are manipulative. And I feel that you intentionally choose behaviors that are deniable, which is so fucking abusive, even if you aren't aware of it.

On Fri, Jun 26, 2015 at 12:22 PM, WIld Cat <wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com> wrote:
And she attacked me in the street I think she should be banned if not it ain't a safer space. Also she has attacked two other people. Don't try to make this about race Niki. This is I give her shade because she is aggressive, messy, rude, violent, and transphobic


On Friday, June 26, 2015, WIld Cat <wildcatofthewoods@gmail.com> wrote:
Niki honestly I think you are tokenizing Rannette if anyone else was being as problematic and aggressive as she has been to many people in the space people would call it put. It ain't micro aggressions she has always acted rude and transphobic to me from day one. But I guess you can tokenize her and say just because she is black it is pk to be transphobic. I know plenty of black trans women and black trans allies that would not put up with her.

On Thursday, June 25, 2015, niki <niki.shelley@gmail.com> wrote:
I don't believe we have an explicit policy re: cops but we should probably articulate one. 

Regarding this particular conflict, I just went and met with Ranette. 

First of all, I want it to be 100% clear that this email is not meant to condone Ranette's behavior or the ways in which she handles confrontation or engages in transphobic attacks.

That said, oftentimes the most insidious and persistent forms of abuse and oppression are not as obvious as a violent outburst. These are the forms of abuse and oppression most instrumentalized by dominant culture and they are consistently employed in order to control oppressed populations. 

You, Morgan, need to accept accountability for continuing to engage in provocative micro-aggressions and gaslighting - particularly with those who are different from you and who may not possess the best coping mechanisms / most radical politics. I really believe that you intentionally push people you don't like and who you know will react badly in an attempt to get them banned from the space. 

I'd like to also ask that you think about the ways in which you repeatedly police people in the space in ways such as inserting yourself into private phone conversations. 

We don't need cops, we need people who are compassionate towards one another's differences and who are willing to work through those differences to arrive at some kind of common ground.

I don't personally know that reconciliation is possible either at this time, given our limited capacities and the level of aggression with which Ranette has responded however, I believe your behavior to be a major part of the problem.

Another issue is the fact that the Omni is pretty maxed out with regards to our capacity for conflict mediation / resolution at the moment. Both Morgan and Ranette told me that they'd asked for mediation from several people including the mediation mailing list and no one ever followed up with either of them. I don't really know what to do about this but it should be made clear to members of our community that they cannot rely on us at the time for mediation / resolution. 

I told Ranette I would inquire about mediation. Obviously others involved in this conflict must be willing to participate, a well if there's to be any kind of resolution, which, I understand, some might not be interested in pursing.




On Wed, Jun 24, 2015 at 10:08 PM, max cadji <max@phatbeetsproduce.org> wrote:
Does omni have a no police policy?

max

On Wed, Jun 24, 2015 at 4:56 PM, Pete Forsyth <peteforsyth@gmail.com> wrote:
On Wed, Jun 24, 2015 at 4:38 PM, Julio Rios <julio.rios@gmail.com> wrote:
I urge we don't involve the police though.

Just a quick point of clarification -- I wasn't urging Sudo or Omni to do so, but any *individual* who feels threatened. (And actually, just urging them to consider it as a viable option...I'm not confident to recommend anything specific, as my info is limited.)

Pete 



--
Support Prescription Veggies! Order a Beet Box CSA today!
510-250-7957
...connecting small farmers of color to urban communities

Check out Feel the Beet! Farmers Market
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Keawnad90aQ


_______________________________________________
discuss mailing list
discuss@lists.omnicommons.org
https://omnicommons.org/lists/listinfo/discuss



_______________________________________________
discuss mailing list
discuss@lists.omnicommons.org
https://omnicommons.org/lists/listinfo/discuss




--



--



--
Currently Reading
Book Cover