"But I do know there are people avoiding the space,
peaceful people never in conflict,
who are put off by your presence WildCat, and fearful of it...
...is that the power you want"
Can you describe who these people are and why they are "put off"? I know some people are "put off" that I am utilizing the Safer Spaces Policy and confront behaivors that I find problematic but I think that there are some people "put off" because they don't know me, understand where I am coming from, and or feel vulnerable because they behaive oppressively themselves fear accountability. . For instance Rob said that I was acting "like a cop" implying that I was acting authoritarian. .The way that he put it, triggered and offended me deeply because of my experiences being brutalized and tortured for acting justly. The police do not hold people accountable for issues of oppression, they enforce oppression on the world. Though I understand that I sometimes I can be better about being constructive with my criticism, I feel that my utilization of the Safer Spaces Policy has been legit.He said that he thought I he was worried that I was against all men. I responded by telling him that I know a lot of good men that the issue is not men but patriarchal/trans-misogynist behaivor that I also have to keep in check myself (being that I was socialized to be a straight male by my father and the Church but through a process of self realization and criticism I have begun unsocializing my self of oppressive behaviors and have begun in process of transitioning and coming out as a queer/transperson.)
Rachel, I know you have a lot of hope in changing people but I can see that creating a lot of problems if we spend so much time trying to do that rather than get work done in the OMNI. I have little energy to be in mediation processes with defensive/unaccountable people who have greater issues of oppression like Doc who is a open National "Anarchist" (contradiction) White Supremacist. You ( Rachel) have expressed that you would him like to continue being a part of the space. He has said this like "We shouldn't have any immigrants." and "Nuke the Middle East." "National Socialists (Nazis) were the first Socialists." Honestly your defense of him makes me trust you less because I see your rushed process of "restorative justice" as have a certain amount of complacency with oppressive behavior. People can call me whatever but one thing I know is that I am not complacent with issues of oppression. That means if someone tells me that I am being oppressive I will spend a lot of time listening and self reflect on ways I can be accountable to their concerns. So regardless I will continue to work and be accountable to my community but I am not willing to compromise the safety and liberation of the community so that we can "hand hold" for oppressive people. I don't believe it is the responsibility of the survivors or oppressed in a particular conflict to "teach" the oppressor. That responsibility should fall on those who have greater privileges and the perpetrator to be self aware and change themselves. No oppressive person will change unless they are willing to do commit to a lifetime of self-criticism and awareness.
With Darin I am in conversation with FNB Joe about coming up with a constructive resolution. To be accountable to the process I am willing to meet with a larger circle of people to come up with a community agreement about to help Darin grow out of his oppressive behavior and history.
"Likewise, past what point can we agree that someone
has NOT worked on their shit, and we shouldn’t bother
wasting our time on it anymore? Some accountability processes
drag on for months and years, diverting collective
energy from other more fulfilling and useful ends. One stubborn
sexist can sour an entire scene on making good faith
efforts to hold folks accountable—which goes to show how
important it is to know when to end an attempted process
before it drags everyone down with it. If we’re going to invest
so much time and energy in these processes, we need a
way to assess if it’s worthwhile, and when to admit failure.
Perpetrator accountability is not an easy or short process…
It takes a lifelong commitment to change behaviors
that are so deeply ingrained; it requires consistent effort
and support. When talking about follow-up, we should
be making schedules for weeks, but also talking about
checking in after months and years. It takes that kind of
long-lasting support to make real transformation possible.
Let’s be frank: if we expect people to remain involved in an
accountability process for some scumbag they don’t even
like for years, and we expect this as a norm for an increasing
number of processes for different people, who may or may
not be cooperative—we are not setting a realistic standard.
That’s not to say that the article is wrong; transformation
of patriarchal and abusive behavior patterns is a lifelong
process. But is it really a surprise that we fail to sustain
these difficult, unrewarding processes stretching over such
lengths of time, when few anarchists in our scene follow
through on long-term commitments to even our most fervent
passions? What can we realistically commit to doing?"