Thanks Jenny, I really liked that article. One of the things that struck a chord with me was how aggressiveness and defensiveness are encouraged in the programming community as positive traits, but also serve to discourage many prospective members from joining that community.
I would associate that sort of aggressiveness, which I've both exhibited and experienced, with "Moral Anger", a feeling that I was Right and that people's opinions were wrong because they did not agree. It's a very motivating emotion that compels me to try and convince someone of my opinions, usually by raising my voice and bringing up emotionally jarring rationale behind why I am right. If through this I compel people to either agree or leave the discussion, it ultimately makes me think I "won", probably boosting my testosterone levels - a nasty positive feedback loop. I consider it a bug, not a feature, of my brain.
The one night I was at sudo room for a weekly meeting, I was impressed by what I perceived from a female sudo member as actively choosing to not engage in argumentative discussion, and discouraging the playing of devil's advocate by another member. It was eye-opening and heartening to see someone actively choose not to escalate the discussion, and instead look for a more productive means of conversation.
I've seen so often that conversations about simple things quickly turn to heated arguments where anger plays a dominant role in communication. Is there any mode of thought or movement out there to actively reduce the role of anger in discussions and compromise? Certainly people would benefit from such a change in mentality. Perhaps emphasizing the role of understanding and compassion in place of anger and argument, especially by people who typically focus on the latter, would be progress in that direction.
mike