[sudo-discuss] Timon

[Jenny Ryan]

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My last _extended_ interaction with Timon was several months ago,
during an event in the common space. He was intoxicated and continually
approaching guests with belligerence and exponentially increasing the
noise level with both his voice and his whistling. When I approached
him and politely asked that he tone it down a bit, he invaded my
personal space and directed an upsetting personal attack at me while
trying to pull others in despite their clear discomfort. Physically
cornered in between Timon and the piano, I attempted to back away and
disengage from the conversation. Eventually I just fled to the other
side of the room and sat among friends, but he persisted in approaching
me, accusing me of bad faith behavior, and attempting to engage others
in the conflict despite our repeated requests to let it go until he'd
sobered up and could have a coherent conversation.

Since then (and this has not been the first such interaction), I
generally avoid eye contact completely and occasionally just leave the
space when he's present. I, too, am done with the fear, the harassment,
the disturbance and repelling of current and potential members.

I'd like to add, on the note of safe space over ideology, that
inclusivity is only possible when a welcoming and safe environment is
maintained. Including those who would intimidate and harass others in
our community creates an unwelcoming and unsafe environment, excluding
in particular those who are triggered by and/or have healthy boundaries
warding them away from spaces that would tolerate this kind of
behavior.

That is to say, this is a much larger issue than interpersonal conflict
or "drama" - it is defining our community's commitment to inclusivity,
safe space, and solidarity in the face of oppression and disempowerment.

Jenny


On Tue 27 May 2014 04:09:13 PM PDT, Marc Juul wrote:
> On Tue, May 27, 2014 at 2:46 PM, Matthew Senate <mattsenate at gmail.com>wrote:
>
>> I have been afraid. I don't often feel fear, or let myself get carried by
>> that fear, but in this circumstance it has taken over me periodically for
>> months now.
>>
>> I was afraid of Timon. I was afraid of his physical and psychological
>> intimidation. I have been targeted, among others, by him, and this has made
>> sudo room an unsafe space whenever he is present.
>>
>> But I'm no longer afraid. I no longer will allow this abuse to continue.
>>
>> Timon *asked *that I send a written message, so I sent an email to him
>> and our landlords that indeed, Timon has no right (legal or otherwise) to
>> sudo room, the public school, or the common space of 2141 Broadway. This is
>> unequivocally true.
>>
>> However, the more important matter is that I sent this message because I,
>> among others, have been habitually harassed and targeted by Timon.
>>
>> This harassment ends now. We provide a space that is safe for everyone to
>> be fully expressed, where safe space and mutual respect is prioritized far
>> over ideology. There is no argument to be had; your fellow members are
>> begging for help, to hold fast and expect the most minimal of standards for
>> behavior for anyone who enters our space.
>>
>> Please help end this abuser's targeting of myself and other sudoers.
>>
>> I know I will be present on Wednesday in full confidence and unencumbered
>> by my previous fear. I have overcome this fear through support of the
>> friends and community that truly makes sudo room an amazing place. Please
>> join me if you have shed this fear too.
>>
>> Together we will resist this and future patterns of abuse.
>>
>
> As I have previously described in person and on the mailing list, I have
> also witnessed and had Timon's belligerent behavior directed at me on more
> than one occasion.
>
> I request that anyone who is able to attend this coming Wednesday sudo room
> meeting show up and support the continued existence of sudo room as a safe
> space.
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> sudo-discuss mailing list
> sudo-discuss at lists.sudoroom.org
> https://lists.sudoroom.org/listinfo/sudo-discuss



- --
Jenny
http://jennyryan.net
http://sudomesh.org
http://thevirtualcampfire.org
http://technomadic.tumblr.com

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
"Technology is the campfire around which we tell our stories."
- -Laurie Anderson

"Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining
it."
 -Hannah Arendt

"To define is to kill. To suggest is to create."
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