[sudo-discuss] revisiting mediation/ban from 2014

[Jay Rosen]

Dear Sudo room,
I write this with a heavy heart, both for the recent losses we've all experienced, as well as a feeling of neglect for not having written this sooner.  
Two years ago a terrible accusation was made about me at Omni.  I was a guest of the space via Sudo room, so Liz & Korl, who were handling conflict resolution for Sudo opened an investigation.  They performed a series of interviews with people from both sides of the situation.  After two months, Liz thought the investigation complete and thought the ban should be lifted.  As others had little or no context for me or my character, I was asked to issue a statement affirming that I reject "rape culture" in all forms before any ban be removed.

So I write to you-
I find it very sad and disheartening that we all live in a world where rape exists, where consent and mutual feelings of safety and trust are not intrinsic to all sexual experience. I believe all people having the basic right to be able to say 'No' in a sexual situation and have that be absolute.  I feel mutual respect & healthy communication and discussion of any boundaries or issues whether immediate or general be shared openly between partners, and each others' needs and feelings be respected completely. I believe that trust built between people is a crucial part of what creates healthy relationships & deeper feeling between people. I believe in consent, always. I believe that everyone is responsible for their own actions.  
I have deep respect for others, and am saddened that sexual violence is rampant in the world, in some cultures permitted or accepted as ok or 
tolerable behavior.  I hope that through right behavior & positive influence, we can shape a future where people are taught this base of respect for others, that force is always wrong, and that not listening/dismissal of what someone says in regards to what they will allow with their body is never ok.  

Sincerely, 
Jay Rosencrantz

Please let me know of your conclusion, if you are willing to lift the ban on my being in the space via
seeksix at gmail.com 

Included below is a copy of the final email I received from Liz for reference

[[Hi Jay, Sudoroom had quorum for the first time in awhile on Wednesday, so I brought up the situation with your provisional ban. I did not go into the details of the whole thing out of respect for everyone's privacy. I just mentioned that I offered to do restorative justice for both of you and you both declined; that we set a good precedent for being willing to investigate such a delicate issue instead of banning in blind solidarity, and that was our primary goal; that the whole situation seemed very ambiguous and highly politicized, and I recommended retracting the ban. Several people were concerned because you were unwilling to try restorative justice, and that raised a red flag for them (the double-standard being that no one would expect Gina to be willing, of course). They simply have no other frame of reference for your character, and they would be more comfortable lifting the ban if you issued some sort of statement affirming that you reject "rape culture" in all forms -- more in-depth, but something to that effect. Until then, the ban remains in place. I'm sorry this process has been inconsistent and drawn out. We have no protocol for this, and I'm just a volunteer with other obligations. I have my personal opinions on it but I have to put them aside in the interest of the community at large. There has been tension around here over issues of gentrification and race, and we don't want to compound them with anyone accusing Omni of supporting "rape-culture" in any way, so we're being very cautious. I hope you understand. Let me know how you feel about the decision. -Liz
gammashine at gmail.com
Sunday Dec 21st, 2014]]


> On Sat, Dec 10, 2016 at 2:05 AM, jay rose <seeksix at gmail.com> wrote:
> Dear Omni,
> I write this with a heavy heart, both for the recent losses we've all experienced, as well as a feeling of neglect for not having written this sooner.
> Two years ago a terrible accusation was made about me. I was a guest of the space via Sudo room, and so two women, Liz & Korl 
> who were handling conflict resolution for Sudo opened an investigation.  They performed a series of interviews with people 
> from both sides of the situation.  After two months, both me and the other person who was named in the accusation were exonerated, and found 
> to be trusted in the space. These findings were then brought to the Omni board, and as little was known about me by peoples on the board, I was asked 
> to issue a statement affirming that I reject "rape culture" in all forms. 
> 
> So I write to you-
> I find it very sad and disheartening that we all live in a world where rape exists, where consent and mutual feelings of safety and trust are not intrinsic 
> to all sexual experiences. I believe all people having the basic right to be able to say 'No' in a sexual situation and have that be absolute.  
> I feel mutual respect & healthy communication and discussion of any boundaries or issues whether immediate or general be shared openly between 
> partners, and each others' needs and feelings be respected completely. I believe that trust built between people is a crucial part of what creates healthy relationships & deeper feeling between people. I believe in consent, always. I believe that everyone is responsible for their own actions.  
> I have deep respect for others, and am saddened that sexual violence is rampant in the world, in some cultures permitted or accepted as ok or 
> tolerable behavior.  I hope that through right behavior & positive influence, we can shape a future where people are taught this base of respect for others, 
> that force is always wrong, and that not listening/dismissal of what someone says in regards to what they will allow with their body is not ok, 
> 
> Sincerely, 
> Jay Rosencrantz
> 
> Please let me know of your conclusion to this 
> Included below is a copy of the final email I received from Liz for reference
> 
> [[Hi Jay, Sudoroom had quorum for the first time in awhile on Wednesday, so I brought up the situation with your provisional ban. I did not go into the details of the whole thing out of respect for everyone's privacy. I just mentioned that I offered to do restorative justice for both of you and you both declined; that we set a good precedent for being willing to investigate such a delicate issue instead of banning in blind solidarity, and that was our primary goal; that the whole situation seemed very ambiguous and highly politicized, and I recommended retracting the ban. Several people were concerned because you were unwilling to try restorative justice, and that raised a red flag for them (the double-standard being that no one would expect Gina to be willing, of course). They simply have no other frame of reference for your character, and they would be more comfortable lifting the ban if you issued some sort of statement affirming that you reject "rape culture" in all forms -- more in-depth, but something to that effect. Until then, the ban remains in place. I'm sorry this process has been inconsistent and drawn out. We have no protocol for this, and I'm just a volunteer with other obligations. I have my personal opinions on it but I have to put them aside in the interest of the community at large. There has been tension around here over issues of gentrification and race, and we don't want to compound them with anyone accusing Omni of supporting "rape-culture" in any way, so we're being very cautious. I hope you understand. Let me know how you feel about the decision. -Liz
> gammashine at gmail.com
> Sunday Dec 21st, 2014]]

Sent from my iPad

> On Dec 13, 2016, at 4:18 PM, Jake <jake at spaz.org> wrote:
> 
> in October 2014 at a meeting, a provisional ban was initiated on J by Liz and
> Korl provisionally while further investigation was done.  There were some
> caveats listed at the meeting:
> 
> https://sudoroom.org/pipermail/sudo-discuss/2014-October/008160.html
> 
> i found more information at the next meeting here:
> 
> https://sudoroom.org/wiki/Meeting_Notes_2014-12-17#Conflict_Resolution_Follow-up
> 
> for those who don't remember, Pigeon aka Gina? was banned later but i don't
> know where the links to that process are.
> 
> anyway, J is asking for my advice in continuing the process which was
> interrupted in December of 2014, so now that i've posted the above links to get
> everyone back to speed, I leave it to J to continue the introduction and
> presentation.
> 
> the complication is that J remembers that this mediation process (and
> provisional ban) were moved to the "omni board" and I haven't been able to find
> any links to that discussion, maybe i don't know which meeting notes to search,
> or how.  Maybe someone remembers something about this.
> 
> J was asked to write a statement denouncing rape culture, after which J would
> be unbanned, but J only recently completed this writing assignment and needs
> help to know where it should be submitted.
> 
> J is included in this email from me, and will reply-all including to this list.
> 
> -jake
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