Conflict Resolution
There is a conflict between Elliott and Xavier.
- Elliot: Tuesday night, 11 March. Elliot said something about a friend
of Xavier (your friend sexually assaulted my friend), Xavier took umbrage
and asked if E wanted X to jump on him or for X to call the police. This
was a verbal exchange. They were separated; X was asked to leave. E is
uncomfortable in X's presence. E seeks a conflict mediation that allows
them to be in separate spaces during the mediation; also that X should be
excluded from the Sudoroom until E feels safe again. E feels that he was
threatened with violence.
- Xavier: To E: "I'm sorry for what you felt last night." X asked to
talk about what E said. E asked what X wanted to talk about X's friend. E
defamed X's friend. X said not to defame X's friend/family (i.e. calling
the friend a rapist). X continued to defend his friend in a strong manner.
- yar: did you threaten to jump him or call the police? Xavier: "maybe,
maybe not, but he defamated my family"
- Jeremy was there and tells his version: X came in, wanted to "make an
appointment with E." E said no. Conversation happened. E: "he's a sexual
abuser" X: "don't talk about my friend that way or i'm gonna kick
your
ass." Something about "any other action being a consequence of law" (?)
Entire exchange lasted a minute. No physical interaction.
- Elliot says he de-escalated by walking away
- Xavier feels threatened by the idea of a mediation where he can't come
to Sudoroom. He said "you don't know what jail is". Elliot takes this as
"an additional threat to have [him] in prison."
- Dwight reports on issues at RPS. A conflict happened which seemed
potentially violent but did not escalate to physical violence. They're
making a code of conduct now because they've never had this issue before.
- Elliot: "X threatened a member of RPS with physical violence" Dwight
agrees.
- Xavier: "I don't want to be cowardly attacked, if you want to call a
time and place". There is debate over whether this was a threat to violence
or an invitation to talk.
- A lot more conversations happened. Elliot left. Yar asked Xavier to
leave and he left a few minutes later.
- yar objects to X's rape apologism, manipulative topic-changing,
ideation about violence and dominance, and general lack of accountability.
At this point multiple people feel unsafe with him.
- Not enough quorum to ban?
This seems to me like a discussion was had. I was just pointing out that
before you agree to mediation. I don't know either party so I cannot
really comment.
On Fri, Mar 14, 2014 at 12:33 AM, Hol Gaskill <hol(a)gaskill.com> wrote:
hey ronald and all,
i am honestly not up to speed on the details - these are the meeting notes
from last week
https://sudoroom.org/wiki/Meeting_Notes_2014-03-05 and i
see nothing on this topic nor did i see this emailed out as is required for
consent agenda items. If i recall, a considerable amount of hivemind time
was taken up in establishing conflict resolution standards. If these are
not being met by those prosecuting, what does that say about our
organization? I don't really have a stake in this other than following
through on what we say we do, as outlined in our articles of association
(or incorporation):
Section 3.2 Conflict Resolution Sub-Section 3.2.0 Process
[image: Diagram] <https://sudoroom.org/wiki/File:SudoRoom.png>
The resolution of disputes and disagreements within *sudo room* is
encouraged through informal process and the spirit of a collaborative
environment. There is a process, however, by which issues that are not
resolved informally and that arise within the scope of these articles of
association:
1. The party who seeks resolution finds someone to act as *Conflict
Steward* in the matter, and works with this *Conflict Steward* to find
a *Mediator*.
1. The *Mediator* is an impartial and uninvolved third party who
consents to assist, and with whom all conflicting parties consent to work
toward a solution.
2. The *Conflict Steward* organizes meetings for conflict
resolution and maintains records of all meetings and relevant
communications among the conflicting parties.
3. The *Conflict Steward*, *Mediator*, and the conflicting parties
arrange to meet to work out a resolution to which all conflicting parties
consent.
2. If at least one conflicting party does not consent to meet, or if
at least one conflicting party is unavailable to meet in a reasonable time,
all relevant circumstances considered, or if the *Conflict Steward*
and *Mediator* agree after at least one meeting that further meetings
would not be likely to lead to resolution, the issue is brought before the
group in the following way:
1. The issue is added to the agenda of the next official meeting
scheduled at least one week in the future, and documentation is gathered by
the *Conflict Steward* and made available to the group at least one
week beforehand (on wiki), and notice is broadcast to the group (on mailing
list), but information that would compromise anyone's privacy or dignity is
not made public. In the description of the issue, the form of remedy sought
by the plaintiff(s) is included. Both the *Conflict Steward* and
*Mediator* must give their approval of the factual content of the
documentation before it is posted. Both the *Conflict Steward* and
*Mediator* must expressly affirm that the form of remedy sought by
the plaintiff(s) is consistent with *sudo room's*
values<https://sudoroom.org/wiki/Articles_of_Association#Values>es>.
The request for remedy must include an implementation plan approved by the
*Conflict
Steward* and the *Mediator* if it is not obvious how to implement
it.
2. During each meeting's agenda item on Conflict Resolution, all
unresolved issues on the wiki are brought up for discussion followed by a
vote.
1. First, the *Conflict Steward* presents all relevant
documentation about the issue.
2. Then, a category of severity is established by *consensus* according
to *sudo room'*s
values<https://sudoroom.org/wiki/Articles_of_Association#Values> and
the facts of the case. The category determines the voting threshold for
sustaining a sanction against any party to the conflict. The categories are
(in order of decreasing severity):
1. Conflict calling for membership suspension or termination.
- *Decision Procedure:* 2/3 vote
2. Conflict where only material compensation is sought.
- *Decision Procedure:* 1/2 vote
3. All other conflicts.
- *Decision Procedure:* Consensus
3. Then, the opportunity to represent perspective is granted
to each conflicting party and to the *Mediator*, and general
discussion may be held about the issue if any member wishes. The *Conflict
Steward* co-facilitates with the *Facilitator* in order to
answer questions specific to the conflict and provides information about
the history of the conflict by referring to the documentation.
4. Then, a brief period of deliberation of definite time is
held, during which members are free to consider the issue or discuss it
directly with others.
5. Then, members may propose alternative remedies to the
conflict, along with any appropriate implementation plans.
6. Finally, a vote is held on the plaintiff(s)' proposed remedy,
and then alternative remedies are voted upon in the order they were
proposed, but only if at least one member indicates that the remedy under
consideration is still relevant. After all remedies have been considered in
this way, the matter is considered resolved. The *Conflict
Steward* then ensures all relevant parties understand the remedy
or remedies that passed and any corresponding implementation plans.
7. Any conflicting party unsatisfied with the decision may place
an appeal on the agenda in the same way that conflicts are placed on the
agenda, except that a majority of the group must vote to accept the appeal
during a meeting, and the process begins anew. The appeal must propose an
alternative remedy and refer to
values<https://sudoroom.org/wiki/Articles_of_Association#Values> that
were not served by the original decision.
8. If at the end of any step in the process more than an hour
has passed during the current meeting in considering the conflict, any
member may request that a majority vote be held on whether to table the
conflict until the next meeting.
Sub-Section 3.2.1 Principles and Values Specific to Conflicts
In the pursuit of fairness, due process in the resolution of conflicts
must include:
1. Presumption of innocence.
2. Right to an appeal and a fair process.
3. Respect for the privacy and dignity of all members.
4. Proportional and effective remedies.
1. Restorative <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restorative_justice> remedies
are strongly preferred over
retributive<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retributive_justice>
remedies.
/textwall
I arrived late at the meeting this week and there seemed to be ongoing
discussion RE recent events and definition of safe spaces. My idea of
mediation in this case is making clear the fact that threats of violence
are 100% unacceptable and that only the sudo room standard of safe space is
in effect here - take it or leave it. There was some issue of defamation
of character vs accurately describing something that happened between a
friend of X and a friend of E during which time X exhibited irrational
behavior which is unacceptable going forward.
My intention is to gauge whether or not the differences are reconcileable
and if so help chart the course of reconciliation; should it become clear
that any party is unable to meet our standards of safe space and
nonviolence, I would report back to the group accordingly.
So I guess I am seeking conflict mediator status if both E and X consent
and if noone else is already doing this. I am personally not especially
risk-averse in terms of my own personal safety, though I abhor those who
would unjustly endager others and after sufficient exploration of the issue
I would not hesitate to safeguard our members against all such people
through all available means.
-hol
on Mar 13, 2014, *Ronald Cotoni* <setient(a)gmail.com> wrote:
Hol, Did you read the meeting notes from last week?
On Thu, Mar 13, 2014 at 5:19 PM, GtwoG PublicOhOne <g2g-public01(a)att.net>
wrote:
Threats of violence and zealous defense of violence, add up to a high
risk of acts of violence. To my mind that is a cutoff point, and
attempting to mediate only prolongs a high-risk situation and potentially
makes it more emotionally charged (thus increases the risk).
This is all the more so if the threats he made, and the acts he zealously
defended, referred to any kind of weapon, other than in self-defense
against an immediate threat to one's own life or the lives of innocent
others. IMHO the best way to handle this is in a cool and unemotional way:
"nothing personal, rules is rules."
Any reasonable definition of "safe space" includes that people don't have
to worry about encountering someone who may threaten them with violence.
Lastly, if you ban him, change any locks or passwords he may have had
access to. Even a key that says "do not duplicate" is not a deterrent to
someone making a copy themselves or having a corrupt person make one for
them.
-G.
=====
On 14-03-13-Thu 5:08 PM, Hol Gaskill wrote:
i'm willing to act as a mediator pursuant to our conflict resolution
policy
on Mar 13, 2014, *Yardena Cohen*
<yardenack@gmail.com><yardenack@gmail.com>wrote:
At this point there have been several informal calls for Xavier to be
banned. After last night's events I reluctantly agree that he should
not be welcome at Sudo until he's accountable for his behavior:
* he made threats of violence towards somebody at Sudo
* he did something similar at Rock Paper Scissors
* he zealously defended other acts of violence committed by a friend of
his
I'm willing to act as a mediator, but I'm not confident that the
problem can be resolved.
So I formally propose that he be banned from our space for an
indefinite period. Are there any objections?
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Ronald Cotoni
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