Greetings, sudo!
It has been a long time since i have visited! I hope you have all been
doing well. I am taking the time right now as the year draws to a close
to reflect on the current state of things in my world. Perhaps you will
indulge me in reading everything below. perhaps you are seeking a tl;dr
in which case i will ask you,
have you seen my folding plastic table?
have you seen my aluminum ladder?
have you seen my dreams for a shared space and a common future?
I believe I left them laying around here someplace, possibly with my
name scrawled across in marker.
The table is about 3'x6', blown plastic, folds in half. The ladder is
aluminum, 12' high or so, and quite nice. The dreams are like hair or
cuticles, forever growing back even as i try to ignore them and focus on
something tangible or 'important'.
At the beginning of this year I closed Coyote, a shared art studio and
retail space I had been managing in North Oakland. We closed in part
because of the loss of one of our founding members, who moved back east
to live closer to his family. We closed also because of a mismatch with
the neighborhood, admitting reluctantly that where we wanted to have our
art studio was not compatible with where we needed to do our retail work
- to seek customers, and build paying business. We struggled to
integrate into our neighborhood, making friends while seeking to
understand the impact of gentrification. We struggled with an
unscrupulous landlord, mounting costs and flatlining incomes, and we had
to admit that the project wasn't working in its current guise.
The upscale restaurant down the block sought our support, as we were
closing, for a 'neighborhood meeting' about crime. When I pressed the
owner (who had never before visited, in our year and a half in business)
about what their concerns were, he told me that some of their patrons
were being mugged on their way from the tony restaurant to the train
station.
I can't say that I was surprised.
I wasn't surprised that the patrons of this restaurant had been mugged.
The food is not cheap and the place is an oasis of genteel laughter in
a neighborhood more attuned to sirens, car stereos, and the stacatto
passage of these same folks in their cars on their way home to the hills.
I also wasn't surprised that the restaurant owners, after completely
ignoring the existence of their scrappy neighbors, after failing to
welcome their new peers to the block, after ignoring that small business
baksheesh of customer-trading, were still willing to hit us up to come
to their 'community' meeting and talk about how to 'stop crime'.
I ache for folks who suffer through being robbed with the threat of
violence, or with actual violence. It sucks to have something like that
happen to you.
But.
In the time that I bottomlined our business in North Oakland, we lost
about 5% of our sales income in shoplifting. This is in comparison to
basically nil in shoplifting losses in a similar store that I previously
ran in San Francisco, near haight/fillmore. What's different? Income
inequality. Sure, in a diverse place, folks of all different sorts
encounter each other, and there is a lot that is healthy about that.
In this region there do seem to be some entrenched group identities in
the culture war, and I sometimes wonder which side I am on.
I have watched friends and neighbors struggle as their food stamps are
cut. I have listened to the pained conflict that grows up in their
loving homes around money, when there is none. I wondered most
especially which side I was on after George Zimmerman was let free, and
marches passed my West Oakland house every day. I saw the notoriously
violent OPD standing between me and these marches, as if to protect me.
This more than anything else drove me to walk out my front gate and join
those marches, to show with my body where my loyalties lay.
I have watched the region that has nurtured me for the last decade sink
into an inequality that I am led to believe is as deep and deeply
entrenched (meaning the unlikelihood of people to transcend the
circumstances into which they were born) as the period that preceded the
French Revolution.
Only whose head will roll?
In the midst of these questions I was forced to confront the inadequacy
of Sudo's best and most shining efforts. It is a place where I have
made friends, many of whom stay in my orbit & community now as I
re-orient. Sudo is also the only place where my hair was ever grabbed
without my consent. It is a place where I have been accosted in a dark
hallway by someone who repeatedly demanded my attention despite my
demurrals, despite walking away. It is a place I have been yelled at in
anger, as have many others. It is a place I have feared to bring
friends. I watched a community struggle to set boundaries to protect
its members, only to founder as it seeks to define what a 'member' is
that deserves protection.
I say these things not as a condemnation of sudo, and i hope they are
not read as such. I say them as an honest person sharing some difficult
thoughts, and i remind you dear reader that we reside within a culture
that is structurally predisposed against this. It trains us to see
critique as attack, to see critical thought as a threat, instead of what
we hackers know as the fundamental strength we bring to any situation.
We can think. we can assess. we can learn and grow and change, and we
can evolve.
We are meta. We are legion, and we cannot be contained.
I read recently about this space starting in SF, and while i was
gladdened to hear about Double Union, I am extra excited to imagine
another space with such a strong commitment to inclusion.
https://github.com/wallacemax/sfhackerspace
I hope the east bay hackerspace scene continues to grow, evolve, and
flourish.
I understand sudo is changing right now as well. It is well for all
things to change, and I hope that in this case the changes lead towards
the causes of transparency in governance and inclusion for all, which i
always understood to be some of the most fundamental tenets of sudo.
be well, good luck to all, and always,
R.